


my little quarantine

by Aspera



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Era, COVID19, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Gen, HP - Marauders, Jealousy, Texting, jily
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-05
Updated: 2020-07-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:34:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25079200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspera/pseuds/Aspera
Summary: With the shelter in place orders in London, Lily has been living at James and Sirius’ flat for weeks. Sirius has had enough.Sequel to A Kiss in The Text and Auld Lang Syne
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Mary Macdonald/Marlene McKinnon
Comments: 8
Kudos: 32





	my little quarantine

_Sirius Gainz Black to #jily fan club_

**Sirius Gainz Black 11.12 am:** I cant take this anymore

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 11.13 am:** I know where this is going and please, for the love of sanity, everyone, do not engage

 **Siruis Gainz Black 11.14 am:** first of all moony, how dare you

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.14 am:** second aof all moony, hOW DAFE YOU

 **Mary Macs 11.16 am:** ???

_Sirius Gainz Black is typing…_

**RJ Lupin, Esq 11.17 am:** what did I just fuckin g say

 **RJ Lupin, Esq 11.18 am** : I funckig warned u

 **Marlene McK 11.19 am:** so dramatic

 **Marlene McK 11.19 am:** this is why we keep u around lupin

_Sirius Gainz Black is typing…_

**Peter Wormy Pettigrew 11.20 am:** is he going to start whinging about lily and prongs again

 **Peter Wormy Pettigrew 11.20 am:** didn’t we spend an entire winter trying to get them together

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.21 am:** every since this lockdown began lily and prongs have been constantly shagging around d the flat I littrally cannot take it anymor e every time I try to take a shower theyre there every time I want a bag of crisps theyre there fucking RIGHT in FRONT OF MY SALAd!!!! What have I ever done to deserve this???? This selhter in place order was the worst thing to ever happen to me and I need u all to come and FIX IT

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.21 am:** wormy do u really want to be taking that tone rn

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.22 am:** unless u want me to share those photos of u and Helena hodge with the group???

 **Mary Macs 11.23 am:** oh do please

 **Marlene McK 11.24 am:** ???? there r photos??? And ur just telling u s now?????

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 11.24 am:** oh here we fucki ng go

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 11.25 am:** dont say I dindt warn u

 **Peter Wormy Pettigrew 11.26 am:** shit I thought I got them all

 **Peter Wormy Pettigrew 11.26 am:** do tell us more about ur shameful circumstances Sirius

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.26 am:** fucking thank u for ur concern wormy

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.27 am:** like young love is beautiful etc etc and if I was literally able to leave my flat more than once a day I would be thrilled to know that prongs is happy and all that bollocks but like??? Do u not have a job??? How r u able to have sex on all of the surfaces literally all day long???

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 11.28 am:** ur literally just mad that u cant have a wank whenever u feel like it

 **Mary Macs 11.28 am:** sdjsjdofioiefowienaslkn

 **Marlene McK 11.28 am:** LMFAO!!!!!!!

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.29 am:** that is not the point moony and u know it

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.29 am:** I am hurt that u would think so little of me

 **Peter Wormy Pettigrew 11.30 am:** that is literralyl the reason tho so

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.30 am:** WORMY I STG

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.30 am:** HODGE

 **Mary Macs 11.31 am:** so like wanking aside black what do u expect us to be able to do

 **Mary Macs 11.31 am:** we r all stuck at home 2

 **Marlene McK 11.33 am:** ^^

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 11.33 am:** do NOT get him started

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.35 am:** stfu moony

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.35 am:** ugh I’ve just had to dodge them to get a cup of tea, shagging in the bloody hallway

 **Mary Macs 11.36 am:** omg really

 **Marlene McK 11.37 am:** how do they even have the stamina

 **Peter Wormy Pettigrew 11.38 am:** :/

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 11.39 am:** pads pls just get to the point so I can go back to leading my tutorial without these constant inane interruptions

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.40 am:** pls for the love of god invent a emergency at the lab or sthg

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.41 am:** just get them out of my hair for like ten minutes

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.41 am:** macdonald and mckinnon pretend to break up literally anything I am BEGGING u all

 **Mary Macs 11.44 am:** the uni is literally closed

 **Mary Macs 11.44 am:** how could we pretend there was a lab emergency?

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.45 am:** set fire to the commons idek just get her out of tihs flat

 **Marlene McK 11.46 am:** …

 **Marlene McK 11.46 am:** how is that a fake emerrgency

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.47 am:** idec then pretend to break up

 **Mary Macs 11.48 am:** she would never buy that

 **Marlene McK 11.48 am** : lily knows we r rock solid

 **Marlene McK 11.48 am** : soz mate

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.49 am:** u r completely useless to me

_Sirius Gainz Black to Lily E._

**Sirius Gainz Black 11.49 am:** ur sister just called for u

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.49 am** : she says that shes leaving Vernon and she wants u to come to surrey right tf now

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.49 am** : idk but it sounds serious maybe u should go

 **Lily E. 11.55 am:** how do u know that my sister called

 **Lily E. 11.55 am:** u and james dont even have a house phone

 **Lily E. 11.55 am** : tuney doesn’t even know that I have a james

 **Lily E. 11.56 am** : my phone is literall y in my hand as we speal black

 **Lily E. 11.56 am:** my sister never called tf are u on about

 **Sirius Gainz Black 11.57 am:** damn it

 **Lily E. 11.57 am:** ???

_Lily E. to A Discovery of Bitches_

**Lily E. 11.58 am** : do u guys think that black is psychic???

 **Lily E. 11.59 am** : he just texted me to tell me that my sister called and that she needed mw to come see her bc she was leaving Vernon but there was no clal on my ohone??? nd like there is no house ohone at his and james’ flat???

 **Lily E. 11.59 am** : do u think that she is rly about to leave Vernon?????????

 **Mary Macs 12.01 pm:** u r literally a phd student in applied chemistry and u believe in psychics

 **Mary Macs 12.01 pm:** how r u the lab manager

 **Mary Macs 12.01 pm** : this is a disgrace I am ashamed on behalf of UCL

 **Marlene McK 12.02 pm:** harsh babe

 **Lily E. 12.03 pm:** !!!

 **Lily E. 12.03 pm:** then why would he even say hthat??????????

 **Marlene McK 12.04 pm:** …

 **Mary Macs 12.05 pm:** do u rly need to ask that question

 **Mary Macs 12.05 pm:** Sirius orion black is and always has been completely barking

 **Marlene McK 12.07 pm:** whay she said

 **Lily E. 12.07 pm** : so tuney isn’t leaving her pig of a tory husband

 **Mary Macs 12.08 pm:** fraid not m8

 **Lily E. 12.09 pm** : damn

 **Marlene McK 12.09 pm:** do u want to drink about it on FT

 **Lily E. 12.10 pm** : maybe later, james and I have plans

_Prongs Potter to Sirius Gainz Black_

**Prongs Potter 12.27 pm** : did u just make up a call from lily’s sister

 **Sirius Gainz Black 12.29 pm:** I can neither confirm nor deny that claim on the grounds that it mau incriminate me in a court of law

 **Prongs Potter 12.32 pm:** shes like rly upset u know

 **Prongs Potter 12.32 pm:** tht was liek the one thing u could have said to hurt her most

 **Prongs Potter 12.33 pm** : she wont even yell at me for being crap at animal crossing

 **Sirius Gainz Black 12.33 pm:** how can u even be crap at animal crossing

 **Sirius Gainz Black 12.33 pm:** its not even that kind of gaem

 **Sirius Gainz Black 12.34 pm:** im ashsamed to be ur brother rn

 **Prongs Potter 12.35 pm:** im ashamed to be ur brother too! U just lied to my girlfriend to hurt her for no actual reason!

 **Sirius Gainz Black 12.37 pm:** I had an actual reason

 **Prongs Potter 12.38 pm** : which was??????

 **Prongs Potter 12.42 pm** : I know that u read that, I can hear u listening to George Michael through the wall like a ponce

 **Sirius Gainz Black 12.43 pm:** ur just mad that im listening to it without u

 **Prongs Potter 12.45 pm** : … not the point

 **Prongs Potter 12.45 pm:** listen I cant believe that u if all peoppe would pull a stunt like this for the laughs

 **Sirius Gainz Black 12.46 pm** : wtf is that supposed ro mean

 **Prongs Potter 12.49 pm:** if I texted u nd said rhat reg had called bc he was leavinf home and needed somewheee ro crash, and it turned oit to be a prank, u would be pissed

 **Prongs Potter 1.02 pm** : im not trying to be an arsehole pads, i’m just trying to understand why u would say simething like that

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.07 pm:** well fuck I didn’t thaimk about it that way I just

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.07 pm** : nvm its stupid now

 **Prongs Potter 1.08 pm** : literally just tell me so we can decide whar takeaway to order for lunch

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.09 pm:** we already decided on lebanese. Its on the flat calender and everything

 **Prongs Potter 1.09 pm** : I peomise I wont tell mom if its bad

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.10 pm:** our mother doesn’t care if we order bad takeaways. Shes told u a million times

 **Prongs Potter 1.11 pm:** sirius just tell me why u tried to get lily to run off to surrey for no reason

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.12 pm:** I miss u alright???

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.12 pm** : u never hang out with me anymore. Ur always shagging lily in the halls or in the shower or on the terrace

 **Prongs Potter 1.14 pm:** when did u see us shag in the hallway??? We habe literally neer done rhat and we never woud,

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.14 pm:** this morninf!!!! When I was just trying ton make a cup of tea!!!!

 **Prongs Potter 1.14 pm:** wtf??? Inkissed her on the cheek??? How is rhat shagging by any stretch of the imagination???

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.15 pm:** ur constant displays of love and affection are gross and offenseive to my eyes nd I need iU to stop

 **Prongs Potter 1.16 pm:** … management eill be taking ur comments undrr advisement

 **Prongs Potter 1.17 pm:** also I miss u too

 **Prongs Potter 1.17 pm:** and moony and pete

 **Prongs Potter 1.17 pm:** do u want to FT them later? ,aybe do a netflix party and watch something violent?

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.18 pm:** fuck yes

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.18 pm:** esp if by violent u mean violently terrible

 **Prongs Potter 1.19 pm** : ill let u nd moony pikC

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.19 pm:** wise man, potter

_Sirius Gainz Black to Lily E._

**Sirius Gainz Black 1.29 pm:** listen lily im sorry that I told u ur sister called. I didn’t think. I guess im just jealous of all the time u get to spend eith prongs. Its been weird to have a third person in the flat and I think I jist wanted t o idk habe him to mysekf for a while. Does that make sense?

 **Lily E. 1.34 pm:** im sorry too sirius. I know ur really close nd I should be a little more respectful of ur friendship. Do u want me to move back with dorcas?

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.36 pm:** no don’t be daft. Prongs would pine for years nd I would never hear the end of it

 **Sirius Gainz Black 1.36 pm:** but maybe u could give us an afternoon a week to hang out alone?

 **Lily E. 1.36 pm:** done ❤️

_RJ Lupin, Esq. to Sirius Gainz Black_

**RJ Lupin, Esq. 2.57 pm:** for the last time, we are NOT watching twilight again

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 2.57 pm** : pick somethint else u swot

 **Sirius Gainz Black 2.58 pm** : shant

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 2.58 pm:** fine

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 2.58 pm** : but we’re changing the audio to greek or somethint

 **Sirius Gainz Black 2.59 pm:** wormy has the entire film memorized dw

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 2.59 pm** : I hate u all

 **Sirius Gainz Black 3.00 pm** : lol no u don’t

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 3.00 pm** : also u do know that if u ever managed to convunce lily to go put to surrey, that dhe doesn’t drive

 **Sirius Gainz Black 3.00 pm:** so???

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 3.01 pm:** prongs wouldve insisted on taking her and since only u have a car

 **Sirius Gainz Black 3.01 pm** : fuck

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 3.01 pm** : yes, sirius, u eould have had to drive the pair pf them to surrey

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 3.02 pm** : what have we learned?

 **Sirius Gainz Black 3.02 pm:** ur a prat

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 3.03 pm:** u knew that already. What have we learned, Padfoot?

 **Sirius Gainz Black 3.03 pm:** to take ur advice the first time and not go rogue amd improvise to increase the drama

 **RJ Lupin, Esq. 3.03 pm:** very good. Im going to send the link to the group chat

_Dorcasaurus Rex to A Discovery of Bitches_

**Dorcasaurus Rex 4.42 pm:** black once told me that I would meet a dark handsome strnager and win the lotteru and then that was ehen I had a meeting eith kingsley’s working group AND I won a scratch ticket I got at the pff license

 **Mary Macs 4.44 pm:** dorcas, u beautiful beautiful fool

 **Marlene McK 4.44 pm** : he looked at ur google calendar while he was snooping through ur purse

 **Dorcasaurus Rex 4.45 pm:** HE WhAT!?!?!?

**Author's Note:**

> I tried that trick where you put your font to Comic Sans, and I am furious to report that it absolutely works on writer’s block.
> 
> I wrote this to procrastinate from doing the rewrites on my book.
> 
> (Also, as an aside, if anyone wants to know how I make the typos look authentic: I always write texting fics on my iPad and then just don’t bother to fix them.)
> 
> Let me know if this is something you want me to continue with!


End file.
